A little Background
I think many people have mixed emotions about getting pregnant at 20. Some may say too early, whereas some actually plan and are ready to start a family. Well, I have always wanted to be a young mom, picturing myself done with a bachelors and wanting to start trying for kids. I wanted to be able to have 3 kids so thinking about settling down and starting my family was always on my mind even though this was a little early. To me family is everything, I think partially because I was brought up this way ever since I was a little girl. I only have one younger sister so my mom always made it a priority to make sure our bond was strong. To this day we bicker almost every time we see eachother but she will always be my best friend. I love her with my whole heart and I hope to be able to teach my kids this kind of unconditional love so that they will one day share the kind of friendship my sister and I have.Growing up I pictured myself having one boy and two girls. I wanted my little boy first so he could protect his little sisters! I think I thought like this because for the longest time I dreamed of having a brother, even though he would be younger than me! So when we found out we were having a little boy I was over the moon with excitement!
The News
I remember it was a Monday morning and I took the test that verified my beliefs. I gasped for air when I flipped it over and immediately flipped it back around. I did not know what to think and if I’m being honest I could not get myself to think anything. My mind went blank and I left the bathroom as if it was nothing. I got myself dressed and headed over to a friend’s house. The whole car ride there I could not even process what I had just found out. I tried getting myself to think about this news and I honestly can’t even describe the feeling. Deep down inside I knew what was going on but I could not get myself to process or think about it… a very weird feeling but I’m sure many can think back to a time in their life that they might have felt this way, truly indescribable… I was very calm and no one could tell that I had anything personal going on based on my facial appearance the entire day. I went about the day like normal and said absolutely nothing.
Later that evening, I finally brought myself to think that I had to tell my boyfriend Joe. I could not keep this from him because we needed to make some very important life decisions. He was starting the semester of school the next morning and I had no idea how to tell him he was going to be a dad. I could not bring myself to tell him that night so it ended up being a middle of the night type of talk. I woke up crying and finally told him that we were pregnant. There was no response, he just wrapped me up in his arms and we laid there together for a few minutes. He finally spoke and told me it was going to be okay but I could tell that he was very worried. We laid together a little longer and then both started crying. I would say that these were not tears of sadness but tears of worry. Worried about how we would explain to our parents, worried about finishing school, worried about making enough money to support ourselves along with another little human who would need so much. A lot of emotions were felt that night but we knew that now it was not just the two of us anymore. Life sort of hits you smack dab in the face and everything gets very real. You start to think about things that literally 5 minutes ago wouldn’t even cross your mind. It did not matter anymore if we wanted to be able to hang out with your friends, go out partying, be able to eventually get a higher education, or go on vacation just the two of us. All that mattered now was prioritizing school and work, along with getting our act together to be able to support a tiny human who would depend on us with all their life.
Emotions
I think many people may believe that the first feeling an unexpected pregnancy brings with it is fear. Along with regret and thoughts such as “we should’ve been more careful, what have we done, I’m not ready, or maybe even: I do not want to be a parent right now.”
I can promise you 100% that those thoughts never crossed my mind. Guys, I was over the moon to be able to become a mom. I wanted a baby and I never regretted becoming pregnant with my child. Am I young? Yes! But I see that as something beautiful because I have so much energy and still so much life ahead of me to be able to spend time with my little boy! From the very first doctor’s appointment I was already looking up baby clothes, different brands, seeing what type of baby things we would need and so on. Joe and I always wanted to have kids and now the dream was coming true. We both knew that we would be able to handle it and were not scared.
So if not scared, then what? Honestly I would say worried. From the very beginning I was worried how I would be able to manage school and being a mom. How I would be able to finish two more years of college while not having as much time as I once used to. Nursing school is tough and requires a lot of time and dedication to learn the material. I also know the type of learner I am, and I certainly do not pick up on things in a blink of an eye. I need to be able to sit down and dedicate hours to learn all the material for an exam or to learn the skills necessary to pass a skills lab. This is currently, still the only worry I have on my mind. Joe is amazing and took the money aspect off my hands. He is working both a fulltime and a part time job to be able to provide for our family. He has been so determined to be able to put us into a house of our own. I could not be more thankful for this and am doing my part of studying in return. I am determined and motivated to be able to help provide for our little family.
If I had to give anyone advice on how to handle an unexpected pregnancy like this it would be to treat it as a huge blessing. You are young and you are healthy! Getting your mind set straight and writing out goals for the future helps with keeping on track. Now it is more important than ever to have the dedication to better yourself so that both yours and your baby’s future is as great as it can possibly be. I can also not stress enough how important I think it is so share the news of your pregnancy ASAP. Being able to talk about it with your partner or parents or whoever is closest to you can make all the difference. Personally it was important to me to be able to talk to my mom about this. Even though I was scared out of my mind to tell her, once I did I felt this sense of ease. It took some time for her getting used to the thought of becoming a grandparent this early but now I have support from not only her but also all the other people who matter to me most.
Take the time of pregnancy to reflect on your goals and get everything in order before your baby comes. Always remember you are loved and your baby is the most precious thing in the world!
-With love, Kasia
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